


Callie in the Underground

by Metalopod, Octotrooper



Category: Splatoon
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-26 20:50:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19776169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Metalopod/pseuds/Metalopod, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Octotrooper/pseuds/Octotrooper
Summary: Hobnob, a promising Octarian soldier, is given the daunting task of showing one of the Squid Sisters life beneath the surface.Contains illustrations!





	1. Chapter 1

Light flooded through the upstairs window of my apartment. I cracked open an eye and licked my dry lips. Morning already?

Reluctantly, I rolled out of bed and landed in the puddle of ink to the side of my bed. I smiled a little and wriggled the two tentacles on the ends of each of my small feet. The thick ink felt cold and good.

As I continued to wake up, I began to notice sounds of the outside world creeping into my room through the half-open window. There was the occasional loud woosh caused by vehicles passing by. People who were far earlier risers than I was were already deep in conversation on the sidewalk. A faint buzzing signaled that the artificial sun was running full-force - it was going to be hot today.

And, as usual, there was the music. The current track flowing out of the speakers outside was a jaunty melody made mostly out of electronic blips with distorted robotic vocals splashed in. The beat of my three hearts quickened to match the song’s tempo. I hadn’t heard this track before, but I already knew it was destined to be yet another spicy OCTOTOOL hit.

I’d spent the entire night curled around a hefty stalk of wasabi, so I was a bit stiff. I completely unfurled myself and stretched my tentacle upwards as far as it would go. The tip grazed against the ceiling. Guess it was true - Octopuses never really stop growing.

My mind wandered back to last night’s briefing. The higher-ups were dropping a lot of hints that the Deej was about to make a major announcement. The thought of it made every part of me - even my lips! - shake with unbridled excitement. I’d have to wear my nicest pair of black boots today.

I examined my reflection. My sclera glowed their normal, healthy shade of wasabi green. _Spicy!_ My lips appeared moist and pillowy. And, to my delight, my skin looked particularly glossy - which meant I’d be in top form for the DJ’s broadcast.

I gurgled happily, my entire body feeling like it was about to burst with Octarian pride. It was days like these that I felt proud to be an Octotrooper. This was one of those days that made me feel _proudest_ to be an Octotrooper! It was an _amazing_ day to be an Octotrooper!!!

_WOOHOO!_

When my troop arrived at my post at the skyscraper rooftops, someone we didn’t usually see was waiting for us: Direct Supervisor Maki, an Octo-enforcer of formidable size and strength. He had a heavy brow that rivaled DJ Octavio’s and six sturdy tentacles atop his meaty body. I was more than a bit jealous of his physique.

“Good to see everyone filin’ on in.” Maki greeted us in his usual friendly way. Then his tone turned serious. “T’day’s a real important day for us Octopuses, yeah? Y’all better’ve known that, else someone’s gettin’ a talkin’-to.” He squinted. It looked as if he were sizing us up. My tentacle curled as Maki’s eyes landed on me.

“You, with your tentacle all up in a knot. You better be ready.”

“Me!?” I squeaked. My suckers shot out in surprise.

”Yeah, you. It’s your lucky day, little man. You’re gettin’ a job that other Octopuses only _wish_ they could have. Er, it ain’t my job, though.”

I was one confused severed tentacle man. Maki was carrying out an order from the DJ himself, which meant that my assignment was so important that…!

“Octavio’s takin’ some small-time surface performer under his arm to give her a chance to be one-eighth as spicy as he is. But it’s gonna take some time for her to get used to how things work around here. We need a healthy young Octarian like you to make her feel welcome. Show her how nice the Underground is. How awesome we are. That kinda biz.”

I felt the familiar tingle of Octarian pride welling up within me again. Maki trusted ME to be the ambassador for a performer that the DJ had hand-picked!

“It would be an honor, sir,” I said, giving him a one-tentacle salute.


	2. Chapter 2

DJ Octavio’s elite guards stood beside every doorway in the facility, their faces stone cold and unmoving. Even their tentacles refused to twitch.   


I’d been given some briefing before I arrived. The mission was very dangerous. I would need to be escorted by different Octarian soldiers at all times. This “performer” was well-versed in anti-octopus combat, and had a volatile personality.   


“They could turn on you at any second,” I was told. It made no sense - why would we willingly bring someone like that to the Underground?   


I was brought before a large set of steel doors. They let out a long, loud hiss as they opened, smoke pouring out and filling the hallway. Three silhouettes stood amidst the haze. Two of them were unmistakably Octozons, but the person standing in the middle had a shape that made my lips quiver. Now I understood what all the warnings had been for.

_ “Inkling,”  _ I shuddered.   


The Octozons walked closer to me, their strong arms locked around the Inkling’s to prevent her from escaping. My tentacle tensed. It was my first time getting this close to an Inkling - and  _ I had to talk to it! _

The Inkling already looked anxious, gritting its beak and clenching its fists. But its clothing was loose and casual, not suited for combat at all, complete with a pair of flashy sunglasses. Did that mean that it didn’t intend to fight us?

The Inkling turned to the Octozon to the left. It spoke in broken Octarian language with a heavy foreign accent.

“I much scared.”   


The Octozon reached for the side of the Inkling’s glasses and pressed a few of the rhinestones. The Inkling let out a small whimper, then its shoulders went completely limp.   


“Say hello to the ‘Hypno-Shades’,” the second Octozon smiled. “They cause the Beats to work on Inklings. Octavio wants to make sure she’s kept in line as much as the rest of us.”   


“Brilliant!” I was in awe at how far our technology had come in the last few years. Music containing “Beats” had been used for decades to make sure that everyone in the Underground stayed comfortable and loyal at all times. Learning that the Inkling would be affected by them made me feel a lot safer.

The Inkling was looking at me now, its Hypno-Shades displaying a muted chevron pattern.

“Hi,” I nervously said, raising my tentacle in greeting.   


“Hey…” the Inkling replied, nodding. It still seemed like it was unsure about being in the company of Octarians.

“Um, I’m going to be showing around your new Underground home. You’re going to love it here, I promise!”

“That’s cool.” Its voice sounded tense, but it now spoke perfect Octarian - probably the work of the amazing Hypno-Shades.

“I’m Hobnob,” I said. “What should I call you?”   


“I’m Callie,” it responded. “You know, one of the Squid Sisters.” She waggled her hands in a deliberate fashion.

“I do know you,” I gulped. Maki had lied to me! This wasn’t ‘some small time performer’, but one of the singers of that awful Calimari Inkantation! How was I, with just my one tentacle, supposed to impress someone with that kind of power?!

The Octozons let go of Callie and immediately grabbed Octoshots out of their holsters. Callie scratched the back of her head, slowly looking around the room.   


“So,” I began, “Is there anything that you’d like to see, now that you’re down here?”   


“The exit,” Callie said, then she quickly shook her head. “Ah, sorry, sorry. I’m usually kinda rushing around. Don’t really get to stop and sightsee or anything.”

“Well… what have you always wanted to do? You like food? Shopping? Dancing?”

“You have _ shops?” _ She seemed confused. “I thought you just stole stuff you found above ground!”

“Recycling is important,” I explained. “It’s not like you’re using what we take.”   


“Is your  _ food  _ recycled too?!”

“You Inklings sure have funny ideas of what things are like down here.”

“Well, Gramps always told me you guys took EVERYTHING outta the garbage! Food, old shoes, jars…”

“We like jars,” I said. “Don’t you?”

“I don’t really think about jars. They’re just sort of a ‘meh’ thing for me.”

“Haven’t you ever just smooshed yourself into a nice big jar? Calms your nerves.”   


“IN a jar? I haven’t fit inside a jar since I was a squidlet!”   


“Then I know exactly what we’re going to do first,” I said.


	3. Chapter 3

“LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT JAR!”

“Oh, they get bigger than this,” I said. If I was honest, the oversized mason jar in front of us was actually on the small side. It could only fit about three trooper-type Octarians. The average giant jar could fit at least twenty.   


“You could put so much glitter in it…” Callie breathed, shaking her head in disbelief.   


“Why would we do that?”   


“‘Cuz adding glitter makes jars go from ‘blah’ to ‘huzzah!’ ...or something like that.”

I looked at the jar. It might look nice with a little sparkle on the inside.   


“Do you like decorating?” I asked her.

“Are you low-key asking for a makeover?” Callie smiled. “Cuz I can give this place a makeover.”

“That’s not-- I’m not -- I can’t authorize changes in public areas!” I sputtered.   


“Darn! This place is uuuuuugly, and I thought it could use a little something, you know?”

“What’s wrong with the decoration we have already?” I asked, motioning to the huge lava lamps suspended from the roof of the cave.   


“Well, THOSE are fine, but you’re not using light to its full potential! This place should be SHINING!”

I didn’t know what to say. She had great ideas, but would listening to an Inkling be treason? I looked over at my escorts. They all seemed as interested in Callie’s redecorating as I was.   


“We’ll see what we can do,” I said. 

The nearest shopping district was so busy that none of the civilians noticed the Inkling walking among them. I was worried she might use the confusion as a chance to escape. Instead, she seemed happy to blend in for once.

“This is Siphon Street,” I told her. “I come here a lot on my days off.”

“ZWHOP SHOP,” Callie read aloud, giggling to herself.

“Do you not have Zwhops on the surface?”   


“That’s the name of a THING?! It’s not just a rhyming store name?!”

“You eat them and they make your tentacles nice and glossy,” I explained. Callie promptly bolted across the road and into the store.

The inside of the Zwhop Shop was small and cluttered. The Zwhops themselves were neatly displayed by desired effect - metallic luster, glossy, slime shine. There was a shelf full of some knockoff versions, too. Various tentacle care items were nestled in baskets on the floor.

“Welcome to the Zwho…” The heavily made-up Octoball cashier’s voice fell. The trendy young woman inspecting the sucker brushes was definitely a squid.

“I had no idea you guys take such good care of yourselves, like dang,” Callie said, slapping the brush’s bristles against her wrist.   


“Why is there an Inkling in the store!?” the Octoball whimpered. 

As if to answer them, three fully-armored elite Octozon escorts burst through the doorway.

“Callie,” one of them growled. “Do not enter any retail environments before we do.”

“Aw man, you guys are just like the press,” huffed Callie. “Never leave a girl alone.”

“I’m so sorry,” I apologized to the Octoball cashier. “I’m on Breakbeat-level orders today.” The Octoball still seemed uneasy. I turned around and saw Callie about to take a bite out of one of the fake display Zwhops. “What are you doing!?” I yelled.   


“Is this not a free sample?” Callie asked.   


“No! It’s made of metal!”  


“Oopsie.” She put the Zwhop back on its display stand. “The sign said ‘GENUINE ZWHOP’ so I thought…” I was more confused than ever now. Why would Callie want to eat a Zwhop? Unless...

“Wait, did you want to look like us?” I asked slowly. “Is that what this is all about?”

“You guys are cute,” Callie said. “Might as well take a kraken at your beauty routines.” My face blushed deep purple. Nobody had called me cute since I was just a little severage!   


The Octoball rolled over to Callie, trying their best to act normal. “Did you want… what are you trying… your look…”   


“OH MY COD, YOU’RE  _ ADORABLE _ ,” Callie gushed, hands over her mouth. “I love your makeup! The little star on your cheek! The false eyelash! You’ve got STYLE!”

“Thanks…?” The cashier didn’t seem to know how to react to a compliment from a squid. “I use… glow… get… shine…”

“Oh! Yeah, you look really glossy! Is that from the Zwhops?”

“Yes!” The octoball was beginning to realize Callie was a normal customer. “If you want this look, the GLOW Zwhop is the way to go.”

“I’LL TAKE TWENTY,” Callie grinned, smacking some coins on the counter.

“You only need one a month,” the cashier explained. “Just one bite a day and your tentacles will be in tip-top shape.”

“Cool.”   


One of the Octozons was making an uneasy whimper. She fidgeted with her gun and looked nervously around the shop.

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“ _ We forgot to exchange her currency.” _

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this story, please leave a comment! Even "nice story" is better than nothing!


End file.
